Oh how they grow

It amazes me how fast our children grow. As I rocked Gavin for our cuddle time before bed (I no longer rock him to sleep, but I still rock for about 15 minutes. Okay, sometimes he still falls asleep but this is something I love to do and have loved it since the first moment I held him in the NICU) I realized started to reminice his little short life. I remeber the first time I got to hold him. The peace and joy, two days without holding your little one is daunting. I hear now that I should have insisted I got to hold him at least once before they took him to the NICU. I remember the first time he smiled at me. It was in his sleep after I kissed him. He still smiles when I kiss him when he is almost asleep, almost as if he knows by that touch that momma loves him. I remember how he started to do the army crawl and didn't start regular crawling until he was 11 months old. I still laugh when I think of how he would scoot up to the television, stand up and start clapping. He took his first steps away from he tv, clapped and then plopped to the ground. I love how since he started walking in November (the 24th to be exact) that his vocabulary has grown. His newest words are Scott, (momma needs to start calling him daddy more often) and blanket. Oh, how cute it sounds!




Why am I waxing so memorial all of a sudden. I am 10 weeks pregnant and thinking of how life will change. I am throughly excited, and want this new child with every part of who I am. I know that having this child will make our family complete. I've always felt this way. I just worry about the changes that Gavin will have to go through to adjust. Okay the changes I will have to go through to adjust. I guess I don't know how to explain it. I love our cuddle time. I love holding him. I am scared that when the new baby comes I won't be able to be the mother that all three of my children will need. Donovan was different. He is attached to Scott. He loves me, but he doesn't quite have the same needs as gavin does when it comes to me. Gavin is such a jealous child. Heck, he was sitting on Daddy's lap the other night. I leaned over onto Scott's shoulder and Gavin got mad and tried pushing me off. How will life change? How will Gavin change? How can I help prepare him? How can I help prepare myself?